


What do we do now? (s.a.w. response)

by katemiller



Series: What do we do now? [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sherlolly - Freeform, Sherlolly Appreciation Week, Sherlolly Appreciation Week 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 12:51:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18135992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katemiller/pseuds/katemiller
Summary: Sherlolly Appreciation Week 2019, Day 7, “I’m not an experiment, Sherlock.”What do you do when you can’t take back what you said? What do you do once your feelings are out and leave you feeling raw? For Molly and Sherlock, their future is unclear and messy. Their feelings are being torn apart and they have no idea how to stop it.An exploration of feelings, friendship, and love post-series 4





	What do we do now? (s.a.w. response)

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this fic right after session four aired, but I haven’t touched it since then. What I am posting today for SAW is part of chapter one and two. We will see how far I get with chapter two…for now, enjoy!
> 
> (The first fic in this series covers a chunk of what is posted here as well.)

“From the beginning.” It wasn’t a question but an instruction that he followed.

He told her everything that had happened after his birthday. How John’s new therapist had turned out to be his mentally ill sister. That Mycroft had lied to him and his parents. How he had gotten to be a pirate for a few hours. That Eurus had enslaved all of the staff at Sherrinford – the connection between Moriarty and her. That they thought there had been a little girl in a plane and how Eurus was going to make him choose between John and Mycroft. How he worked out where she was and what she had done. And that he was still planning on visiting her because…

“Because she’s your sister.” Molly reached over and squeezed his hand tightly. He stared at her hand in his for a long time before looking up at her. “It’s understandable.” She let go of his hand and settled back into the couch. “She’s your sister and she is sick. You feel some – ”

“I meant it.” He blurted before she could finish.

“Please don’t do this.” She set her empty cup down and made to get up.

“Molly.” He grabbed her hand and his eyes pleaded with her. She let out a shaky breath and sat back down. “There was a coffin,” he said tightening his grip on her hand.

“Coffin?”

“It was small, and practical, and…”

“And made for me,” she said in understanding.

“The words,” he swallowed hard, “she wanted me to get you to say those words or she was going to kill you.” He dropped her hand and stood up, facing her kitchen. “So there you stood,” he pointed, “making your tea, and not answering your mobile.”

“I was having a bad day,” her voice was barely audible.

“And I was irritated that you didn’t pick up because it was  _me_.” He cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders. “I didn’t want to say those words to you.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you…”

“No, Molly,” he sighed as he pushed the palms of his hands against his eyes, trying to clear his head. “I didn’t want to say them because I knew I could never take them back.” He dropped his hands and sat back down on the couch.

“You were trying to save my life and I thank you for that.”

“Oh, Molly.” he cupped her face, brushing off the tears that had started to fall again. “Molly.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back as she laced her fingers with his, but only for a moment before pulling his hands away and sitting back. “I lo-”

“Stop.” She shook her head fiercely, taking a deep breath. “I know you do.” She stood up. “I’ve known for a while…probably longer than you have.”

“I-I don’t understand…” He sat on the couch staring at her, doing his best to compute what she was saying.

“You don’t know what to do with yourself, let alone your emotions…it was easier that way.” She started pacing as she talked.

“What way?” He looked angrier than what Molly had expected. She stopped packing and looked at him.

“You just being you…me just being me…not complicating it with anything that would get messy and eventually fail.”

“Then why did you want me to say it first?” He stood, the frustration and confusion overwhelming him.

“Because I was having a bad day and if I was going to admit it out loud, then so were you,” she said wearily. “I just needed to hear it…at least once.” She sunk back down onto the couch. He slowly sat back down next to her and took her hand again.

“Well, what do we do now?”

“I don’t know, Sherlock.” Molly shook her head, withdrawing her hand from his. He stared at his empty hand with a confused look. “Maybe we should just…leave us…as we were.” She clasped her hands in her lap and closed her eyes, unable to look at him.

He stared at her for moment, studying the outline of her face. She was the same Molly,  _his_ Molly, but something was different now. The truth was out and he didn’t want to deny it anymore.

“What if that isn’t what I want?” His voice was soft but pleading. She opened her eyes at his words, furrowing her brow.

“What do you want then?”

“You.” He reached for her hands but she held them up, her eyes closed again, a memory flashing in her mind. “I want a chance to have you…to see what its like.”

“I’ve already told you,” she whispered as she opened her eyes, “I’m not an experiment, Sherlock.”

He pressed his lips together, gathering the right words.

“No, you aren’t an experiment. But relationships aren’t guaranteed, Molly.” He leaned closer to her again. “One thing I’ve learned from watching everyone else around me having relationships is that you have to seize the opportunity before you lose the chance to do so.”

She nodded in understanding, a defeated look on her face.

“But right now, with everything that has just happened…Mary, your sister…I just don’t think its good timing.”

He stared at her for a moment, reading her face before leaning in and kissing her again. It was the kind of kiss that leaves you breathless and light headed. The kind that you think about in the middle of the day, leaving a small smile on your face. The kind that sends shivers all over your body and leaves you wanting more.

“With everything that has just happened, right now could be all that we have left.” He stood up and pulled on his jacket. “This isn’t an experiment. This is real and I’m going to fight for you, Molly Hooper. For us.”


End file.
